Saturday, April 24 2021

Dear Journal,

Let's try something totally new and different for Saturday, shall we? Presenting, our weekend, in pictures.

I picked up an empty bag of chips that had blown into our front yard. The special RAP designation caught my eye. What exactly does RAP taste like? What am I missing, having never tried the Migos spin on sour cream and ranch? For shame - I may never know!

Rodney has spent most of the weekend in this cardboard box. He reads magazines and comic books in the box. He eats play food in the box. He holds lively discussions with Hauncy in the box.

I finally decided to nix my shaggy quarantine hair. Marissa lopped it all off on Friday night in our bathroom. Just for fun, we wanted to see what I'd look like with a bowl cut. Not only does it look bad, but it makes me look like the kind of person you'd see on the evening news, and not in a good way. Get a good look - this will be the last time I ever wear a bowl cut.

I stood along the wall in Marissa's chilly basement studio while she cleared the area. She crumpled up an old drop cloth and tossed it at the base of the stairs. She unfurled a new one, spotless and still pleated from folds. Moving more quickly than usual, Ollie slithered between my legs to claim a prime spot on the new drop cloth.

"Ollie loves new drop cloth day," said Marissa.

What's all this? It's the makings of an excellent Friday night, that's what it is. Both the kids were in bed. All three dogs slept soundly, sprinkled around the living room dog beds. Marissa and I cracked open a bottle of port, heated up some leftover Indian food, and played a trash talk filled game of Battleship. The original plan was to eat cheese, but I absolutely struck out with my Hy-Vee selection: bourbon smoked gouda - gross.

We had finished eating, and Marissa was holding Minnie at the dinner table. Minnie's little eye lids started to droop, and anticipating a nap she nestled into Marissa's shoulder. She stretched her legs one last time, smacked her lips with a yawn, and squeaked like a baby.

"Take a picture," mouthed Marissa, trying not to disturb her. I reluctantly took my phone out and held it in front of me. Marissa started to yawn, and in a moment of expert timing, I snapped a photo at the peak. It was worth ruining a good photo.

I stood out on the porch in my room, lazily sipping coffee. Rodney and I were the only ones awake. He hurriedly fashioned his green grocs and slipped out the back door behind me lugging his big green dinosaur, Hauncy. "Hauncy has to go poop," he explained.

Either Rodney believes Hauncy really poops, or he was just extremely committed to the role play. He cross the back yard, retrieving the pooper scooper. He even picked up a few genuine deposits while collecting what was left by the Haunce.

If there were a terrible two's for dogs, Minnie would be the mascot. She's gaining confidence in her new habitat, and that's causing her to show her naughty side. On Friday night I turned my back on her for twenty minutes to wash dishes, and I was so locked in that I failed to notice the house grow eerily quiet. Minnie took the opportunity to pluck a little plastic cup of baby food off the bottom shelf. We discovered the evidence stashed under the dining room table. There was a dainty little hole chewed out of the middle of the lid. Minnie crawled into Marissa's lap. Marissa hugged her, and the sleight weight on her baby-food filled belly caused Minnie to burp right in her face.

"It smells exactly like baby food," said Marissa. "I think it was banana pear."

After a Saturday pea soup dinner, we played Rodney's favorite game Robot Turtles. Rodney loves the game because the instructions explicitly state that the kids who are playing get to boss around the adults. It's Rodney's time to shine, and he gets to arrange the board, describe our goal, and add as many silly rules to the mix as he wants. Naturally, Marissa and I find it kind of hard to focus while playing a game with no stakes, no real goals, and no consistent rules. You could say that it makes us feel the way Rodney probably feels all the time.

What did you think of weekend in pictures? Thanks for stopping by today. Hope you have a great weekend.